Size Does Matter

July 21, 2013

While I was there, I bought some Trader Joe's Italian Sausage-less Sausages.  Why? you may ask.  Well ... it's all about this visit I had with a nutritionist.  I may never be the same.  She had pulled my blood work from January, which I swear I had never seen.  Everything that was supposed to be low was high and everything that was supposed to be high was low.  But it was the visual imagery that she gave me: 'with the diabetes, your blood is thicker, and with the high cholesterol it's clogging your arteries so the blood is having a hard time getting through.'

At that point, I was ready to find some kind of arterial draino, but apparently, it doesn't exist.  I went back to work thoroughly depressed (and contemplating drowning my sorrows in death by chocolate cake) when Lisa put it all into perspective.  "It's her job to scare you," she said.  Apparently, my nutritionist is really good at her job!

So ... this morning I cracked open the sausage-less sausages. They are o.k.  They need to consult a real Italian, however, for the seasoning.  That's where they fall down.  The texture is o.k., and when you brown them in a pan, they don't look like something you should throw away.  But they really need more authentic seasonings. (Especially caraway.)  Anyway, after I had my one (with one egg, one slice of toast), I needed to put the other three away.  (Maybe I can use them in jambalaya ... )

Sausage-less sausages

So I got to thinking that my morning had been fraught with things that are the wrong size (besides me).  Here is the bread I have.

I happen to be a fan of "good" bread.  But remember when bread -- "sandwich bread" -- became square?  You had no problem popping them into the toaster and when the bread popped up, there was the perfect grabbing surface of bread.  Now look at the above bread in the toaster before pushing it down to toast.  Honest.

You can't see it, right? So how the heck would I get it out after toasting?  This is what I have to resort to:

Obviously, you can see the inherent problem.  I can get 3/4 toasted.  Sigh.

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By the way, I used to have a bit of a 'following.'  Some people thought my Slices of Life were funny.  Well, I guess they were.  But I have discovered that I'm only truly funny when I'm deeply depressed.  And I was that for quite a while when that woman was a Trustee.

But my not-so-new-anymore boss, Sharon, has made me truly happy at work.  She has figured out that I get bored easily, so she keeps giving me new things to do.  That's good.  And she loves it when I edit her speeches (I make her sound like herself). 

And Lisa, my new Receptionist, is a jewel.  She is more than helpful to me in being a support person.  (I'm Sharon's support person.)  It's a good team and we get a lot of work done.  We laugh a lot, often at ourselves.  But it feels good.

 So now  ... I never get beyond mildly amusing here.  Damn her.  Um, sort of.