The older I get, the smarter my mother gets.  I know, I know, that's a paraphrase of Mark Twain and probably a hundred other famous people.  Yup, that's Mom up there (about 5 months ago).  I can't figure out how our relationship has gone from pure angst to ... we're, like, friends.  Oh, there's that mushy love stuff in there too.  But since we are both New Englanders, we keep that kind of stuff sub rosa.

Many people praise me for the way I raised my daughters.  Well, o.k. two people.  But look at the example I had ... what follows are true Mom Stories.

It was Christmas break of my freshman year at UMass, Amherst.  Mom and I were living in a garden apartment (read: basement) in Mattapan (read: Boston).  It was a small but very comfy two bedroom apartment.  I asked if I could have a party for my high school buddies.  She said sure and I asked her if she would be going to a long movie or something.  "No, I'll just close the door in my bedroom and you can tell them I'm out."  Well ... o.k.  She assured me that reading a book would be fine for her.

So we were having a great time eating (that was during the 15 minutes that I was slim), laughing, talking, and singing.  One guy had brought a guitar.  It impressed the girls. (There was no alcohol because I didn't drink at age 17!)   At about Midnight, the door bell rang.  "Oh, ...!!" I thought, "The neighbors are complaining about the noise."

I open the door and in walks Mom.  "Hi, I'm home!" she exclaims and goes to her room to take off her coat.  My guests left shortly after that.

"Mom! What did you do??"  Of course, when you eliminate all possibilities such as magic, a warp in the time-space continuum, fairy dust, etc., you have the answer.  Mom had climbed out of the ground level window and reentered the apartment.  Now you know when I got my second grey hair.

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Mom has always believed in rules.  I do too, I just sometimes had difficulty following them.  In high school, I was constantly being grounded.  I was home 10 minutes late from a date, I dated the same guy twice in a row, or I forgot to tell her I was over at Ginny's house for hours (and she didn't know where I was).  On one of the occasions when I was grounded for a month (!) and couldn't go out on 4 consecutive weekends, one particularly persistent guy would call every Friday night and ask if I could go out.  By the third week, I said, "David, you know I can't go out."  So he said, "What's your mother doing?"  He was kidding and we proceeded to talk for hours on the phone.  (What DID we have to say then??)

Another time, she had forbidden me from seeing this one guy.  Since I was also dating a football player, I told her I was going to the (high school) football game.  It was true.  What I didn't say was that I was going to sit next to the 'forbidden fruit' at the game.  I thought I was so clever.  I wore my brand new candy cane pink mohair sweater which stood out from the crowd.  All the better to see you, my dear.  Yup, Mom walked over to the game (the field was at the end of our street) and she saw me.  The chewing out I got when I got home was my first grey hair.

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We lived in Milton, Mass. when I was in high school and we were "poor" compared to most of my friends because we rented the top of a two family house.  We weren't really poor but compared to the kids who traveled to Europe or who played squash at their parents club, well, you get the idea.  Looking back, I know that Mom didn't want to make me feel different, so she had decided that I would always look good.  (And, since I was tall for my age in those days, all of the clothing was for "old ladies.")  She taught herself how to sew and she made a lot of my school clothes.  Was I grateful?  No .... not then, but I am now.  I had designer, hand-sewn-in zipper dresses!

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And she taught me how to travel.  In 1978, the Business and Professional Women's Club (BPW) had its national convention in Puerto Rico.  She would have BPW business meetings during the day and was free to party at night.  I had a great time going to the mostly empty casinos, taking a SCUBA lesson from a cute guy at the hotel, shopping, and walking around.  But when the meetings were done, it was nap time.  Then a little drinky poo from the flask, then off to dinner and the casinos.  Mom had made us a couple of easily packable long skirts that we could alternate with different blouses for our evening wear.

One afternoon I was practically the only patron in a casino so a dealer was chatting me up and telling me to never hit on an 18 and things like that  Then he said, "I've got to tell you: You and your sister are some of the best dressed people who come in here."  Yeah.  Everybody thought we were sisters.  If Mom really wanted to get me mad, she would say she was the younger sister ...