Sunday Composter 5-20-2012

Sunday, May 20, 2012

I have a confession to make.  Today I am money laundering.  Really.  The other day, I reached into that well in your car that’s made for a coffee cup.  I throw my change there if I get my coffee at a drive up.  [Editor’s note: Burger Doodle coffee is fine, but it can’t hold a LED to Amherst Coffee Shop’s coffee, where my favorite barrister lives.]  As I was saying, I reached in to get a coin for a parking meter.  ICK! ICK, ICK!  For some reason, it was slimy.  I think this is from coffee overspill.  Well, at least I HOPE it’s from coffee overspill.  But since I live in the country with no access to valet parking (except at our hospital emergency room) or parking garages with attendants who park your car, I’m reasonably certain this was coffee (with milk, no sugar).  So the coins are now sitting in soapy water in the sink.

And should you be wondering, yes, I’m going to clean the whole car.  That is after I clean the kitchen, guest room, and my bedroom. (The bathroom and living room are done.  The sewing room only needs neating up, but it’s hopeless.)

O.k., you may have suspected by now that these “Slice of Life” tidbits are time wasters.  Not really. I’m organizing my thoughts and (I think) providing a public service.   Witness:

Who knew? I just got a new compost bucket (more on that later) and it says ‘Do not put ashes into your compost mix.’  Since I also ordered a fire pit, which has not arrived yet, I was disappointed to say the least.  But wait.  Maybe they are wrong.  So, of course, I Googled it.  It turns out, the soil site (again: who knew?) says don’t add ashes because it creates lye, is very alkaline, blah, blah, blah.  So then the people write in with all kinds of testimonials about how tomatoes ‘fertilized’ with ash are the size of cantaloupes, the grass is greener, their children are smarter, etc.  (O.k., it’s true the last is totally made up by me, but it’s really important to have three in a series before using “etc.”.)  I remember that my grandfather burned his lawn every year and it was fabulous.  I don’t know for a fact that he fertilized his vegetables with ash, but I’m betting he did. Anyway, I’ve got more worries about this compost bucket.

It’s not a bucket at all.  It’s a plastic lid about manhole cover size connected to plastic flexible mesh.  It was shipped flat and all I have to do is unhook two sides and it will expand. Even though I had much trepidation when I read “Easy Set Up” online since that’s usually the kiss of death, I can do this! J  My problem is this: I don’t have enough browns!! Having been the only one in Amherst who has failed Composting 101, I intend to excel at making stinking, rotting, compost! But where do I get browns? (That would be dried leaves or dried grass.)  Do I sneak into neighbors’ yards looking to see if for some reason they still have a leaf pile? Can I shred newspaper and pretend it’s browns?  Will I have to use a hairdryer on lettuce for three hours creating browns?  You know … this whole compost/gardening thing was supposed to help me relax …

Yesterday I planted many seeds (indoors). I was feeling very virtuous because I had saved the cardboard packing which had come with my new laptop and that was my pot for many of the seeds.  Then I was feeling very dumb because, of course, the water soaked right through the cardboard! I did get a pan under them before the living room became a swamp. I had already spilled lots of the potting soil and seed starter in the living room, so an addition of water would not have been good.   They seemed happy being out all night, but I’ll have to keep watch for stray frosts.  Tomi and are have convinced ourselves that we will have a vegetable garden.  I planted beans, carrots, and basil. And I bought a basil starter plant which went outside for the first time yesterday.  We’ll buy starter plants for the tomatoes, but I know it’s really easy to grow beans from seed!

Speaking of relaxing things which have become stressful – have you played Words with Friends (FB) yet? My first three attempts had me rapidly getting creamed.  My ego may never be the same although I desperately cling to my boss’ Friday pronouncement when she declared me a wordsmith.  (Can you see why I love this woman? She gives me the ideas and I rearrange the words – much as when I plan a quilt – and she loves it! Fun at work.)  Well, today, I finally won a game.  But, gulp, my favorite author friend accepted a challenge.  Oh no! She really IS a wordsmith. Do I have a chance? Will she be pointing and laughing? (Actually, she’s a much bigger person than that.)  I guess the point of this is that I’m growing a thicker skin.  If you want to boost your ego, challenge me to Words with Friends.  But I’m going to fight like the dickens to get another win.

Well, I have to go hang my coins on the line. They are clean and should fit right next to the tea bags that I’m drying for re-use. Hey! They are brown, do you think … ?