How Are You Doing? Original Date: 10-14-07

[I have annotated this 'golden oldie' with boldface comments.  No, it's not true that I haven't written anything new -- I just like to revisit these things.]

10-14-07

How are you doing? I can't imagine ... but here's my (lately) chaotic life: Last night Mom and Deb and I went to the Show Us Your Bra auction.  Mom was the only bid (and she's stuck with it now) on my bra.  (It's "Barbie Goes Hunting.")  There were a lot of breast cancer survivors there and many "bratistes" had made their submissions to honor deceased mothers, sisters, friends.  At one point, Judith Fine (The Gazebo in Northampton) invited everyone to "Show us your bra!" and she whipped up her blouse -- as did several other women in the audience.  (I was too chicken.)

["Barbie Goes Hunting" is a handmade bra made of pink camouflage cotton fabric.]

On Friday, I had already taken the day off to go to a quilting class called "Sensuous Lines and Skinny Curves" by Carol Taylor. You can google her and find her if interested.  The first part of the lesson, I learned "couching" which turned out to be applying yarns, ribbons, whatever to the top of a quilt using zig zag stitches.  Not very hard, but tedious.  The second part -- the skinny curves-- looks easy but I am awful at it! I'm hoping to get better with practice.  Then she showed us a border with "floating" squares -- which I already knew how to do (thank you, Jesus!!).  [Ms Taylor pointed out how inept I was/am. Not a great experience.]

Thursday night, after work, Mom treated me to a live performance of "Shout! The Mod Musical" at CityStage in Springfield.  It was fantastic with the 5 women singing all of the 1960's hits.  (Well, many of them.)  I enjoyed it thoroughly. [I remember that that singing was fantastic!]

Wednesday, I took off from work and we drove to Williamstown to the Francine and Sterling Clark museum.  Wow!! It was fantastic to stand in a room with 4 Renoirs or 3 Sargents.  Again, I enjoyed that thoroughly.[I was also amazed at the brilliance of the colors of the restored 13th century panels.]

On Tuesday, I had to work 1 to 5:30 p.m. and was dealing with the vet and the dog.  He had $150 worth of tests to find out that he does NOT have Cushing Syndrome, which means the vet has no idea why he is intermittently incontinent.  [I still miss the dog.]

Last Sunday, Deb and Mom got sucked into going to church with me and staying for a "Newcomers' Class."  I told them they didn't have to go, but they did (pleasing me no end).  The day before, Sat., Emily was here too and we had a wonderful Sat. night dinner with Em, John (her bf), Mom, Deb, Elizabeth (my neighbor), me and Puffer.  It was a teriffic time! [I did end up joining that church and I'm very happy that I did.]

Oh yeah: on Wed., before hitting the road to the Clark, I noticed a bump on my gum. On Thursday, Jeanne and my boss said, "You had better go to the dentist!" Luckily, he saw me -- his office is almost across the street from the Jones -- sigh. I have an abcessed tooth and need a root canal and crown.  (Our Town dental plan is so crummy, that translates into BIG BUCKS.) [Currently, I need another crown -- and I'll have to pay $975.]

Shumway's Tree Service showed up two weeks earlier than he had said.  The huge, ugly, pine is gone from the front yard and you can actually see the house!  He trimmed the ornamental crab apple tree and removed twin maples from the back.  He was hauling away the huge trunk when I got home from work on Thursday.[Boy, was I glad that was gone.  Since then, we have had many high wind situations and that tree would have fallen on the house for sure.]

Lent 2013

Lent 2013

So for many of us, this is a time for reflection, hopefully leading to a more spiritual life.  I admit that I have long ago given up giving up earthly treats for Lent, but I do try to be a bit more charitable and Christian.  Heck, I even went to church today.  Yes, I know, it’s about time.

Others, however, celebrate in a different way.  In Town yesterday, the “Blarney Bash” went on and it’s an excuse for (mainly) college age kids to start drinking in the a.m. and continue for hours.  It used to be called “Kegs and Eggs” but some people objected to that so the name was changed.  (That’s kind of like the old joke: Did you hear? Sam Lipshitts changed his name!  Yeah, now he’s David Lipshitts.) Some Irish Americans still object to the whole thing because a true celebration of St. Patrick’s Day (March 17^th) would really involve church and family and a celebration of Irish heritage.  Anyway, if you use the link below, you will see the disgraceful piles of trash and herd behavior that went on:

http://onlyintherepublicofamherst.blogspot.com/

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As many of you know, I am addicted to TV and I have been watching that guy on the Travel Channel who eats weird food.  I cannot describe it any other way.  Usually, it’s some part of an animal that has escaped becoming a delicacy because the “true” method of preparation is close to raw or raw.  Don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against raw.  Some of my best munches have been raw carrots (although I do prefer them in carrot cake).  I love sushi (as long as I know the fish is FRESH).  

However, I draw the line at a Vietnamese treat of spiced duck blood (drink it before it congeals).  Auuugh.  Then on another show I see the same thing again prepared in the French manner which was to lightly sauté the duck’s blood (so it would stay together, I think).  I guess all of this stems from ‘waste not, want not’ on the farm when it was so hard to feed people that you used every bit of protein that you could get.

But … why not cook it?  And if so many cultures are (essentially) drinking blood, why are we revolted by vampires?  Yeah, I know that’s human blood, but when vampires are trying to be good, they just drink from little animals like rabbits and moles.  (I’m guessing they drain the critters fully because I haven’t seen any reports of vampire rabbits.)

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Age Is the Rage 7-29-12

One day last week, we got a voice mail at work, “Do you have a place where I can pump breast milk?”  (I am not making this up.)  After telling my boss that she really did not want an answer from me who had not had any coffee, I gave my considered opinion.  That essentially was, ‘Wherever you feel comfortable flipping one out, go for it.’  

Of course, I got to call the woman back and I let her know where we have comfy couches and that the children’s room’s bathroom has a changing table. (I suggested she might consider putting a receiving blanket over herself.)  So then came the real question: Don’t you have meeting rooms that I could use?

Which got me to thinking that our online calendar could become pretty wild if we did allow that type of individual use.  Monday: Pumping Breast Milk Group (must bring own pumps).  Tuesday: Sexual Surrogate Therapy Session (not open to the public).  Wednesday: The proper way to inhale. Electronic cigarettes only.  Thursday: Attorney Trying to Discover How He Feels About Ethics.  Friday: Party, Party, Party!

It’s always amazing to me how people act over the use of these rooms. There are two rooms, one holds about 20 people (squished) and the other (which is being renovated) holds 100 people.  We have some small fees if the person is having a recital or a party or they are charging money.  The recital (free use of a baby grand piano) is $50 for a whole day if you wish, plus two free rehearsals.  What used to get my goat was the wealthy woman a few years ago – when the fee was $20 – who had a daughter with two piano teachers.  She felt that even though there would be two separate recitals, she should only pay one fee.  Don’t ask me why. But every year she would try to get out of the second $20 fee.  Mercifully, her kid graduated and we don’t have to deal with her any more.

My all time favorite is when someone is trying to book a room for a group that charges a fee or is doing fundraising.  When I tell them there is a fee (sometimes as little as $20 for the smaller room), they hiss at me, “We’re a non-profit!”  That’s when I smile sweetly and tell them so are we.  

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I went to see the Marigold Hotel last night.  I know there’s more to the name of the movie, but I can’t remember it.  I’m old.  And that’s the whole point of the movie.  I guess “aging” is the new thing.  We recently had the Ko Festial here and the whole theme was aging and the process.  (My coworker, Ralph, won a prize for best story in a story telling workshop.  His story talked about his becoming of age, when he first got heartburn at age 16 after eating gefiltefish for breakfast. He knew he was a man like his father then.)

Now that all of us Babyboomers are aging out, I guess we’ll see more of this treacle.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved the movie. However, some of the endings (which I won’t reveal in case you haven’t seen it) are a bit far-fetched.  The movie is basically about a bunch of English senior citizens who just can’t make it financially in jolly old England and they decide to go to the Marigold Hotel in India which is to be a spa for the old folks. 

I can see myself going to India – with a tour group with an air conditioned bus, air conditioned hotel, and lots of antacids in my suitcase for a week.  But I can’t see myself going to LIVE there!  I thought about retiring to Honduras for about 30 seconds when I was there.  After all, for about $350 a month, I could live well and have a maid!  Then I remembered the policia with machine guns at the exit of the airport and how it’s a game of chicken at high speed with trucks and buses on the windy mountain roads.  And I realized that there I would be wealthy compared to most and the best bet for thieves.  So, no thank you, I’ll stay in the good ole’ USA.  (The Christian hospital would be close by, but most of their equipment is as old as I am.)

But coping with this aging thing is beginning to be a pain.  Mentally, I’m stuck in my undergraduate years.  Physically, I should be dead.  Well, o.k., that’s a bit of hyperbole.  And maybe I’m just emotionally stunted.  But I do still like rock music and Janis Joplin and James Taylor.  I like really witty repartee on the radio (think: NPR).  And I still like to dress a bit outrageously.  (The other day, when I wore my red spangled blouse to work, someone said I looked like Christmas. That may have been the day I had a gold lame rose in my hair. I didn’t look up and said, “I’m channeling Palm Springs.”  It was true.)  I still have a sense of wonder at something new, I love learning, and I want to keep experiencing new things as long as my body will let me.  

Every time someone sends me one of those ‘You Know You’re Old When ….’ I pretty much ignore them. After all, I’m not old – I’m piling up wisdom.  Yup, that’s the ticket: Wisdom.  I think that’s why we laughed at Lucy so much.  We all thought she was old enough to know better – she lacked wisdom.  It’s a concept that we do not revere in this country as they do in other countries.  But it is true that most of us, as we age, gather wisdom as part of our personalities.

Let me share some of my wisdom:

·        If you wake up at 3 in the morning and can’t go back to sleep – chuck it! Go play a computer game.  Coffee will keep you awake at work.

·        Only do housework when you have to. If you haven’t had to do it for more than two months, invite someone to dinner to give you a reason to clean.

·        Be sure to fertilize your weeds well. When they are as tall as you, they have become decorative landscaping.  Name their flowers something exotic and soon your neighbors will want transplants.

·        Don’t empty your mailbox every evening.  That way you’ll get more exercise in the morning because you can’t remember when you last emptied it.

That’s it. I’m tapped out of wisdom.  Guess I have to age some more.

 

(Oh, by the way. I think my hearing’s going with age.  I sit at the computer here with the TV on in the living room. When I thought I heard “This Old House” talk about asshole driveway, I knew something was up.  They said, “asphalt driveway.”  Phew.)

Rejection 4-22-13

Rejection           April 22, 2013

I don’t do well with rejection, so I was particularly upset to be rejected by Google ads.  That’s a scheme where (supposedly) you make money with your blog.  They said, ‘You haven’t posted enough to place any ads.’

I suspect that I did not use any name brands or list any specific interests that they could Target.  Oh well, such is Life.

The girls visited yesterday and all three of us worked on shortening Deb’s new curtains.  I was especially pleased to have the exact Coats and Clark colors of thread that I needed when I sat down to my trusty Singer sewing machine.  We were so pleased with our progress, that we rewarded ourselves with Chinese food from the Ginger Garden.  Emily frosted the Duncan Hines cake that Deb had made using Betty Crocker lemon frosting.

We were a bit late starting on the curtains because the girls helped me recycle the mountain of papers that nearly buried my Dell laptop.  Deb was thrilled to use my Staples shredder – everyone knows shredding is fun.  While Deb and I went through papers, Emily paid my AAA membership and Verizon bill  online.  She also put my Comcast bill on auto pay and now I only have to pay my credit cards.

So it was a very productive day yesterday!

Sunny Sunday in April 4-12-13

Sunny Sunday in April              (4-12-13)

So I have absolutely no excuse for cutting church.  However, it is the first time we have had sun in a while (including sleet! on Friday).  So I’ll just say I need the sun.

It has been a while, so I’ll have to start with LAST weekend.  On Saturday, the Hands Across the Valley Quilt show was wonderful.  It was the smallest that I have ever seen it – because they keep running out of venues.  In the past, it was held every two years in the Amherst College gym.  Then, four years ago, The College (as it is known here) decided they needed to use the gym.  Two years ago, it was a whole floor at the UMass Campus Center and this year it was held at the UMass. Campus Center ballroom.  The vendors were not happy to be in little conference rooms strung alongside the ball room.  Normally, they have a huge open area.

Anyway, Jeanne and Ann and I had a great time.  They are much better quilters, crafters, than I but they are kind to admire my work.  Jeanne loves to tease me about my asymmetrical quilts reminding me that she took a course called “How to Quilt a Not Square Quilt” for use with her long arm machine.  I told her she should thank me for her continuing education. 

I especially liked the vendor who was selling stitch rippers.  (You do know that I am the Queen of Stitch Ripping, right?)  He said, “Quilters don’t make mistakes. They just make design changes.”  Nice going, Fella, but it’s pretty hard to explain that piece that is so obviously put in backwards.  At one point, I had a stitch ripper in every room.

After wandering around a while, Ann remarked that she felt jaded because, ‘I keep thinking that I could do all of these.’  Well, maybe she could, but I couldn’t.  No way could I stitch together 2012 squares.  Are you kidding me?  Does that person have a life?  There is no freakin’ way I could hand quilt a king sized quilt.  (Again – what did she do besides eat and quilt?) And I’m one of the few who does hand quilting – but no bigger than a table runner!!  

And I always had a guilty secret: I hated Sunbonnet Sue.  While every quilter around me was oohing and ahing over a quilt with numerous Sunbonnet Sues, I was politely nodding and smiling and saying nothing.  Don’t ask me why – I have no clue – why I disliked the cute little girl with the big old fashioned (as in Little House on the Prairie) sunbonnet.  So I just remained quiet, which as you know, is difficult for me.  Until, at the quilt show in Chicago (cue the heavenly choir Ahhhh!) there it was. The “Many Ways to Kill Sunbonnet Sue” quilt.  I was amazed and delighted.  There she was hung, electrocuted, poisoned,  shot with an arrow, etc.  Another person felt the same way I did! 

The day after the quilt show, Sunday, Tomi and Lisa joined me to go watch Roller Derby at the Mullins Center at UMass.  We decided that the men are boring and slow and next time we’ll just show up for the women’s match.  They skate really fast and weave and out of the pack and they have great names.  Our favorite was Celia Casket.

Everybody at work thought I was kidding, but I feel that roller derby is a metaphor for life.  I would be a blocker in roller derby, because I don’t really care about being in the front of the pack (a jammer) and I would block people from getting by me.  It was great fun although my bones hurt from just watching that many spills and well placed elbows.  Only one woman had to be helped off the field with an ankle injury.

Then came a week of work.  Sharon, my boss, had declared it was her birthday week on Monday.  I said, “How old are you going to be – 12?”  She said no, it was 42.  So some of us took her to lunch on Monday. And we continued every day but one (she paid for herself the other days).  Until we got to Friday.  I had brought in a quiche which turned out to be way delicious and easy to make.

Quick Easy Quiche

3 eggs

1 cup no fat half and half

1 cup finely shredded cheese (cheddar or a mix)

One handful chiffonade baby spinach

Two tablespoons real bacon bits

One frozen 9 inch pie crust

Pepper, nutmeg optional (I only use pepper)

Turn on oven to 350 degrees. Open the pie crust. Sprinkle bacon bits on the bottom; add cheese. Put pie crust on a cookie sheet. Whisk eggs and half and half.  Put cookie sheet on oven rack, pour egg mix on top.  Bake 40 to 50 minutes at 350 degrees. (Check it – it depends on how much you preheated the oven.)

Of course I had also brought a hand quilted table runner and real forks, so our breakfast was quite elegant.  The term “chiffonade” was new to Sharon so we had a debate as to whether it was a noun, verb, or adjective, or both.  It’s definitely a noun (according to Merriam Webster).  I think using it as a verb is a common bastardization.  ß which may be another.

When it came to lunch time, however, the weather was nasty.  (Oh, I forgot to mention that the heat wasn’t working at the Library, so by Friday, we were all freezing and using space heaters at our desks.)  I’m not exaggerating about the weather – it went from cold, drizzly rain to sleet to hail and back to more nasty.  So Sharon whined that she did not want to go out to lunch.  I came up with the brilliant idea of using Delivery Express.  That’s a local business that will make pickups and deliveries from a half dozen local restaurants.  Sharon was so thrilled with the notion of being able to order online and get it delivered that she paid for Lisa and me too!  She was so pleased with the delivery of hot food that I feel at some point we may have to do an intervention to talk her down from Delivery Express!  For dessert we shared some of the 12 pound chocolate chocolate cake that Lisa had brought.  Staff from other parts of the Library sang happy birthday as we cut up the cake.

Last night Tomi and I went to see “Admission” which is a nice fluffy movie with Tina Fey. I enjoyed it. I was wondering where David (Tomi’s husband) was.  “Oh, he’s in Arcadia.  The snow was so bad it took them 8 hours to drive a 5 hour trip.”  Since my only experience with Arcadia was with “Evangeline “in the forest primevil,” I was very glad when Tomi said “Maine.”  I had no clue.  I know we spent months on that poem, but I didn’t know Arcadia was Maine.  How could they have not told me that?  Anyway, I knew that David would be camping.  I think he has a couple of screws loose because he likes to camp outdoors in the winter.  In the snow.   In the woods …

But wait, there’s more.  Tomi said, “He’s going to be sleeping in a hammock.”  So I’m thinking, ‘In a tent? How the heck do you do that?’  She says no.  In a cabin? No.  Between two trees. So I come to the conclusion that his winter camping is like those quilters who hand quilt a king sized quilt: because they can.   Brrrrrrrrrrr.

Today, after church, Tomi and I are going to brunch.  Tomorrow – who knows? But I do have Patriots Day off and I plan to a lot more of nothing.  

I hope you have enjoyed our conversation today.  You may now unfasten your seat belts.