Where Am I?

For me, getting up at 5 a.m. is surreal.  But the day that followed topped even that.  We knew that we had to be at St. Vincent's Hospital in Worcester for 5:30 a.m.  Emily would have her sub total thyroidectomy at 7:30 a.m.  All went well and we are now a goiter-free household.

When we saw Dr. Potter (no, not Harry), he explained that the mass was BIG.  He said BIG so many times that I  finally said, "How BIG? Did you weigh it??"  He said, "It was about 60 grams."  He didn't even flinch when I said, "What is that to normal people?"  (2 ounces)

Now I didn't mean that the way it came out.  I meant, normally, what does 60 grams mean?  Okay, it's true, I should have said, 'What does it mean to ignoramuses who cannot deal with grams?'

We (Jonathan, the BF, and Emily and I) are all relatively unscarred (Emily has not had time to make a scar) from the experience.  However, I have to admit to being a bit nonplussed when the perky young woman came in and asked for $100.  It was just that Emily was in a johnny, with an IV in her arm and feeling a bit vulnerable.  One would have thought that they could have asked for the money (aka filthy lucre) while she still had clothing on.  Like when we checked in, noticing the lasagna that had turned into a science experiment on the reception desk.  It was hidden by a sign relating to parking validation so we thought maybe the receptionist had forgotten her lunch.  When we pointed it out to her, she said she thought the night cleaning person had left it -- a couple of days ago -- and maybe it was time to dispose of it.  Ya think?

After Emily was wheeled into surgery, we had hours to wait. Did I mention that the day surgery suite is opposite the waterfall? Not something you hear about a hospital every day.  They have an indoor waterfall with real trees and faux flowers on a hill indoors.  The ceiling is three stories high and looks like a greenhouse ceiling with panes of glass about that big.  Somehow it's tinted (not noticeably) because it was still cool while we sat in the sun in sturdy chairs at tables.  Don't ask about the air conditioning bill, but it was masterfully done.  This courtyard was flanked by a pizza place, Dunkin Donuts, and a fresh food place.  Well, it WAS breakfast time (8 a.m. or so) so I got the Dunkin turkey sausage breakfast sandwich and coffee. It was yummy.  Good thing because lunch was around 3 p.m.

(I left out the delays and petty grievances associated with the last "nurse." She didn't seem to understand the question: Why did the intern say it was o.k. to take ibuprophren with the percoset with Tylenol when there was an anticlotting factor which might promote bleeding?  At that point, NSAID was dancing in my semi delirious mind ...)

Trying to please everyone is a bad idea -- especially when I have hit the crotchety zone.  I had brought a couple of avocados, however, in the past, Emily never ate them.  She said she and Jonathan had gotten into making green tuna fish.  (I make that all of the time in the fridge but it doesn't have anything to do with avocados.)  They add the avocado to their tuna salad so I proceeded to do that.  Jonathan informed me that I had added too much mayo.  I told him that there was another can of tuna and he could make it the way he likes it.  "And vinegar."  That was the proverbial straw on my back.  "Okay, Jonathan.  Let me shove a tube down your throat, we'll add the extra vinegar and we'll see how you feel."  It was only after he quietly said, 'There's vinegar in mayo,' that he shut up.  It's going to be a loooong week.

For dinner, I decided to make chicken soup since Emily had thawed some chicken.  Nope, Jonathan starts throwing frozen turkey broth and turkey pieces at me.  Okay, apparently I thaw well.  When I remarked that I should have skimmed the broth, he said he had already done that.  That may be so, but the soup was greasy in my opinion.  At the point where we needed to add vegetables, I was on the phone so I just pointed to the cole slaw mix.  Hey! It's already chopped and it's carrots and cabbage.  He scowled. I raised my eyebrow.  He put the slaw in with other frozen veggies.

Trying to be ... what? Jonathan tells Emily, "I should make some of my special sauce for Mom." Knowing full well that his main seasoning is salt, I asked, "Do you add salt to your marinara sauce?"  He smartly answered, "My answer is predicated on what you will say."  I told him that I already knew that he added salt and tomatoes have plenty of sodium to begin with so maybe he should save the sauce for someone who appreciates it.

Remember: Emily had to be intubated and they told her they were using a larger tube than usual to protect her vocal chords. Can you say sore throat? Can you say NO ACIDIC foods?  If you read about my assaulting someone, it will be in the Worcester Telegram ...

So the cats are cute.  For about five minutes.  It's just so precious that when I'm sitting on the couch, eating, Lily butts me in the head with her head. I wonder if an all black cat in a pot would be noticeable? I could call it licorice chicken. And the yowling cat fights with her 'brother' Jackson are to die for.  If they keep that up, someone is going to die.  Lola hid all day.

So that's day one.  Anyone betting on whether I make it past Monday?